The feelings of fear comes overpowering my surrounding, wrapping around me as I pulled my legs close to my chest. I have been left alone in a room full of strangers, been ditched by a friend in an unfamiliar place and have walked in a lonely street with not a sign of soul anywhere but I have never felt this lonely and scared in my 16 years of life.
I hear my little sisters' laughter outside my room and I take my mind back to 11 years ago. I can see the younger version of myself, running wildly around the house, traits of happiness plastered across my face, genuine laughter I let out, it was the times when misery didnt exist.
I take myself back to where I am now, the vision of myself vanished with an imaginary puff and I wonder to myself; I want to be 5 again. I want to be fearless and carefree without having to worry about these things I worry. Why does everyone wants me to fall apart? My sight turns blurry. Tears spring to my eyes and without warning, they fall down my cheek, and without stopping, they continue to flow.
I am 16 and I am miserable. How can this even possible? It is supposed to be the age of fun, the age of experimenting, the age of exploring. I guess i had chosen the wrong path. Where I am now is not a wonderful view. I want to go back and start over.
This is what I do when i'm upset. I write a short note about it. This may sound silly and stupid, but it is my only way of expressing myself. everytime im noting down my feelings into words, i can just feel the pain, flowing down from my heart to my arm, all the way through the end of my pen and and when it comes to the tip of it, i feel a relief spreading inside my body, like a shot of cold water after a scorching hot day. And that is how I feel now. I am not sure about tomorrow, but i'll worry about it when I have to.
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