Monday, January 16, 2012

Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? ― Mary Oliver

I've been writing a story and I took time to search for the perfect poems to fit it, and sure enough, I found them. Just thought they would be worth sharing with. So here you go. Feel free to knock yourself out.



The Peace of Wild Things,
-Wendell Berry

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.



Having a Coke with You,
-Frank O'Hara

is even more fun than going to San Sebastian, IrĂșn, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
or being sick to my stomach on the Travesera de Gracia in Barcelona
partly because in your orange shirt you look like a better happier St. Sebastian
partly because of my love for you, partly because of your love for yoghurt
partly because of the fluorescent orange tulips around the birches
partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on before people and statuary
it is hard to believe when I’m with you that there can be anything as still
as solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary when right in front of it
in the warm New York 4 o’clock light we are drifting back and forth
between each other like a tree breathing through its spectacles

and the portrait show seems to have no faces in it at all, just paint
you suddenly wonder why in the world anyone ever did them

I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time
and the fact that you move so beautifully more or less takes care of Futurism
just as at home I never think of the Nude Descending a Staircase or
at a rehearsal a single drawing of Leonardo or Michelangelo that used to wow me
and what good does all the research of the Impressionists do them
when they never got the right person to stand near the tree when the sun sank
or for that matter Marino Marini when he didn’t pick the rider as carefully
as the horse

it seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
which is not going to go wasted on me which is why I am telling you about it.



The Swan,
-Mary Oliver

Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air -
An armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music – like the rain pelting the trees – like a waterfall
Knifing down the black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -
A white cross Streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?




The Journey,
-Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice—
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do—
determined to save
the only life you could save.




What I Have Learned So Far,
-Mary Oliver

Meditation is old and honorable, so why should I
not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside,
looking into the shining world? Because, properly
attended to, delight, as well as havoc, is suggestion.
Can one be passionate about the just, the
ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit
to no labor in its cause? I don’t think so.

All summations have a beginning, all effect has a
story, all kindness begins with the sown seed.
Thought buds toward radiance. The gospel of
light is the crossroads of — indolence, or action.

Be ignited, or be gone.





Have You Ever Tried to Enter the Long Black Branches?
-Mary Oliver

Have you ever tried to enter the long black branches of other lives --
tried to imagine what the crisp fringes, full of honey, hanging
from the branches of the young locust trees, in early morning, feel like?

Do you think this world was only an entertainment for you?

Never to enter the sea and notice how the water divides
with perfect courtesy, to let you in!
Never to lie down on the grass, as though you were the grass!
Never to leap to the air as you open your wings over the dark acorn of your heart!

No wonder we hear, in your mournful voice, the complaint
that something is missing from your life!

Who can open the door who does not reach for the latch?
Who can travel the miles who does not put one foot
in front of the other, all attentive to what presents itself
continually?
Who will behold the inner chamber who has not observed
with admiration, even with rapture, the outer stone?

Well, there is time left --
fields everywhere invite you into them.

And who will care, who will chide you if you wander away
from wherever you are, to look for your soul?

Quickly, then, get up, put on your coat, leave your desk!

To put one's foot into the door of the grass, which is
the mystery, which is death as well as life, and
not be afraid!

To set one's foot in the door of death, and be overcome
with amazement!

To sit down in front of the weeds, and imagine
god the ten-fingered, sailing out of his house of straw,
nodding this way and that way, to the flowers of the
present hour,
to the song falling out of the mockingbird's pink mouth,
to the tippets of the honeysuckle, that have opened

in the night

To sit down, like a weed among weeds, and rustle in the wind!

Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?

While the soul, after all, is only a window,

and the opening of the window no more difficult
than the wakening from a little sleep.

Only last week I went out among the thorns and said
to the wild roses:
deny me not,
     but suffer my devotion.
Then, all afternoon, I sat among them. Maybe

I even heard a curl or tow of music, damp and rouge red,
hurrying from their stubby buds, from their delicate watery bodies.

For how long will you continue to listen to those dark shouters,
caution and prudence?
Fall in! Fall in!

A woman standing in the weeds.
A small boat flounders in the deep waves, and what's coming next
is coming with its own heave and grace.

Meanwhile, once in a while, I have chanced, among the quick things,
upon the immutable.
What more could one ask?

And I would touch the faces of the daises,
and I would bow down
to think about it.

That was then, which hasn't ended yet.

Now the sun begins to swing down. Under the peach-light,
I cross the fields and the dunes, I follow the ocean's edge.

I climb, I backtrack.
I float.
I ramble my way home.



Resume,
-Dorothy Parker

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.



Why Are Your Poems So Dark?
-Linda Pastan

Isn’t the moon dark too,
most of the time?
And doesn’t the white page
seem unfinished
without the dark stain
of alphabets?
When God demanded light,
he didn’t banish darkness.
Instead he invented
ebony and crows
and that small mole
on your left cheekbone.
Or did you mean to ask
“Why are you sad so often?”
Ask the moon.
Ask what it has witnessed.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

So long to electric fences.


I always like to wonder how peculiar life can get. The world always has its way of showing me how my plans for myself can not always work. It's like no matter how carefully I am in handling my life's business, I'll always end up in a place so opposite from what I had originally meant to go. Only this time, it didn't feel wrong. In fact, it felt so right.

You will never know how thick of a wall I'd built around me. Adorned with electric fences, I felt safe. Not peaceful, not ever, but still, I felt protected. it was the kind of wall that repelled any presence, any soul from entering while I stayed inside, wondering why isn't anyone coming to be, at least a friend as loneliness started to glue itself around me, before I realised this was how I chose to live. Alone. So afraid of being hurt that I demolished every emotions that preyed on hope until I have none left. A lifeless soul I became. With no light to be found inside me. It was like looking deep into a cave. You wouldn't find any light as it had been banned to enter. And that was what being me felt like. 

It was not until one fine day, when my eyes caught two presence of souls I've known long but never greeted, and as they drew closer, I found myself waiting for them to turn around, trace back their steps to where they had come from, like any souls I've encountered. They were all the same. They would come near enough, but never succeeded to break into these walls I'd created. So when I saw these two wandering around, I knew not to get my hopes too high. But the unthinkable happened. They came closer and closer, and with such grace and humor, they penetrated through my walls, it was like as if my walls were made from clouds, it looked so easy for them to come in. But it didn't make my walls softened, though soon, I had made them my exception. Thus, begins a friendship. 

I feel it is necessary to describe them. 

Even from afar, they look beautiful. So breathtakingly wonderful. These next words I utter I am sure they will never believe, but the truth can't ever be denied. They are the young ones that colour the world, their laughter and cries injects beauty everywhere they go. Their smiles brighter than the Rygill Star, every lines on their faces, their eyes and noses, every bones they own are what makes them what they are and what they are is beautiful. Inside and outside. I have always cogitated is it possible to be beautiful without trying, with yourself as your only make-ups? And then I looked at them and realised-it is. it is possible and they are the living proof of that. 

I won't wish for them to be around forever, because forever has its toll. I will only wish for them to never forget me, and that maybe, in anything I do, anything, they will find the inspiration they need. I hope I will still be alive in their minds till the end of time, even after i'm gone. I don't know if this is possible, but I hope faith would never have to knock on our doors to draw us apart.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Dull musings of my troubled mind






“Sad words are just another beauty. A sad story means, this storyteller is alive. The next thing you know, something fine will happen to her, something marvelous, and then she will turn around and smile." -
Little Bee by Chris Cleave 


The consuming shade of the dark night suffocating her sight, the aggravating serenity wrapping around every empty space of the room, with nothing but the intoxicating whispers of still air hitting her eardrum, they invite nothing but self-reflecting thoughts to enter her mind with such force leaving her no choice but to give in. Then she heard whispers. They had come back. The little monsters had come back. Sometimes she wonders why when all she had had been destroyed by them. All the little strains of hope, the every little ounce of dreams she have left, all gone, all thanks to their whispers. yet they still came when all that is left for them to devastate had already been wiped clean by their wrath. Defeated and hopeless, she lied on her bed, absorbing every whisper, drops of opalescent tears she let beaming down, so lost, so irrepairable until at one point there, she was close to being dead. But she wasn't.


Once upon a time, perpetual jubilation had itself woven solidly to my soul. When all the motivation I needed could be found within I, myself and no one else. When I was so secure that I didn't even bother to demand myself to build walls. Instead, I built bridges. Those times I pretty much got everything I wanted, just because I had such an enduring belief in myself. I was free to be whoever I wanted to be. As bright as the stars above I shone. How amazing it is that all above sounds immensely ironic now?

I ponder sometimes where, exactly, down the road I've crossed, could I have lost myself? If only God permit to allow me to go back down the paths I'd ever laid my feet on, and search for the lost, shattered pieces that would perfectly fit together to form who I used to be, so I could be alive and be me again. Is hope substantial enough? Though immeasurable doubt tries its hardest to cloud my spirit, I have to believe it's possible, or else I might as well be dead. 

I hope along all the roads I will cross, I will find something, or maybe even someone, to remind me of how wonderful my life once had been, when I didn't ever find the need to bring about constant comparison between myself and other people. When I was capable of being genuinely happy about myself. This I am very profoundly unsure of, but I hope someday, I will find it in me to utter these words;



"I will stop to have ugly thoughts about myself. 
I like me and I don't want to be somebody else but myself."

















Yeah...someday.